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A day without Adderall
virgogirl
A day without Adderall 02/11/08

Yesterday I went off my Adderall for a whole day and oh man was I ever reminded why I started on it in the first place.

I got the sudden desire to “get rid of stuff” and proceeded to tear apart several drawers containing hats, bags, and scarves, and also “the junk drawer”. After the contents of those were somewhat scientifically scattered and stacked around the foyer and all of the furniture residing there, I moved on to some sketchbooks and an old scrapbook , tearing out old drawings to either keep or toss, and old ads and photos and stuff from the scrapbook . Some of the magazine ads I am going to try and sell on eBay even for a couple of dollars; there seems to be a market for that kind of thing.

I am actually planning on starting to sell lots of weird stuff on eBay, even stuff like makeup I didn’t end up using but once to try it, etc. I have a lot of time on my hands and even if I only sell stuff for a buck or whatever, or make up little lots like with the makeup, I feel better about that than just throwing it out, and I could use the extra little bit of money or I would probably end up donating a lot of it.

I have however probably a couple hundred books to sell also, so I don’t know whether I will do this on eBay or Half.com. I figure if I do eBay auctions then I can do some lots on stuff that is on related topics, and then also I figure I will get rid of the stuff faster since an auction has a limited time and half.com it’s up there 'til someone buys it. Then again, that might be better because I don’t want to have to keep re-listing this stuff. I don’t know, eBay might be the better idea; maybe I will try a few there first and see how it goes, and then decide what to do with the rest.

But anyway…later on in the day yesterday I completely lost interest in that project, and got really tired and cranky. I also had all of these problems feeling comfortable in my clothes, which was a problem that plagued me almost daily until I got on meds. It’s a pretty esoteric problem but I have heard of other ADDers experiencing this as well, but usually as like, being really aware of a seam or something specific, where with me it was always like, this whole-body sense of rejection where the outfit felt too brief, or too hot, or the ankles were too short, or whatever.

Until the clothes issue sprung up I was enjoying being an ADD terror, but of course I also got depressed and annoyed and overwhelmed over the project before abandoning it and now I have to clean up my mess. :)

I did, however, get some good things accomplished during my mania, despite not finishing entirely. It was so weird to be back there again, though, obsessed with this project of getting rid of things when none of it was really hurting anybody. So ADD typical, to involve myself in this exciting and completely un-necessary expedition instead of doing something so much more obviously constructive, such as cleaning the messy kitchen or going through the pile of mail accumulating on my dining table.

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I'm with you on the crazy, but color me interested if you start paring down. You ahve neats stuffs and books, and I like to recycline "in-house."

oh man are you sure? lol

i will let you know, what are you intereseted in?

you should see the apartment now versus when you were here, it's increased in quality and quantity of furniture and decoration, and probably books and everything else.

sometimes i wish we could just snap our fingers and have a lot of it gone, though, honestly. i have pictures from the past when the place had a lot less furniture and there was an airy, sunny quality about it which i miss. Like i could clean the house (which i really only did occasionally anyway but still) and it woudl look so fresh and homey. it's all very deep persian everything right now; red, navy, sage and olive, cream. there's a beautiful crazy quilt on the back of one sofa that mimics every color in the room, a tablecloth in ocre and red...ugh, i'm hating this room in theory right now. i want to go all crazy on it...fuck it if we won't have anywhere to sit! we'll sit on the floor pillows!

Your old room is my office now. it's been carpeted since then and usually i hate carpet but this just looks clean and nice.

Sounds very earthy cool...I'm not good with fabrics myself. You are so ready for the desert!

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