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for a smart girl...
virgogirl
so i've had this three-well shampoo/bodywash/whatever shower dispenser for like, well over a year now, uninstalled. Sonn after i purchased it, I decided that three chambers was probably overkill since i don't use that much product, and had it in my head that i woudl get back to home depot (less than a mile away btw) one of these days and exchange it for a two-chamber, or maybe even a one-chamber, and then add-on as necessary (even though i woudl have to spend more, i wouldn't have that empty chamber mocking me, and making me have to think. "what should i put in there? should i just add another container of whatever is in the first chamber? how is it that this shower liquid dispenser is now RULING MY LIFE???)

Since then, i've gotten on a pretty great combination of head drugs, and the other day whilst cleaning under my bathroom cabinet, where this dispenser was living, still in its box with the store receipt taped to it (see how together i am?!) it occured to me that putting the damn thing up would be a good way to close that mental loop once and for all (thanks for the metaphor, btw, david allen, as well as everything else, you cute little mouse-man organizational guru, you!), to hell with the extra chamber; i would just fill it with something, anything, so it wouldn't be distracting or get moldy (beer? chocolate sauce? an aquarium fish...hey that's not a bad idea actually...the little pump would make it easier to clean his little tank, too. And fish for me are always boys, don't ask me why).

So i gamely got the box out, and over the next day whenever i was in there i did another step of the intallation. cleaned the spot with Scrubbing Bubbles (also known as the greatest clenaing product ever invented). Wiped it down with isopropal alcohol. stuck the little sticky tabs, designed to hold the unit bracket to the wall secruely while the silicone caulk/glue (included) dries, to the back of the bracket. Finally: squiggled the glue stuff to the back of the bracket just like in the instruction booklet's illustration, and firmly positioned it onto the perfect spot on the shower wall.

ove the next 24 hours, the mandatory waiting period before you're supposed to put the dispenser on the chassis, i was so, so good. only tested how securely it was adhering like, two or three times, and didn't ONCE try and tempt fate by putting the unit on the chassis "because they always overestimate how long you need to let that stuff dry because they KNOW your're not going to be patient", and instead waited the full 24 hours PLUS before this last step. That way, if it fell off the wall, i wouldn't be wondering if it was because i only let it dry for 22 hours, preventing the occult molecular happenings that occur during the 22-hour and one second to 24-hour period, and bringing the loud, soapy disaster onto myself.

This was, however, a mistake.

As i gleefully celebrated the moment of truth by filling up my little chambers (one for bodywash, one for bath oil. And the last, troubling chamber? Conditioner for my now chin-length tresses! three-plus years of super short hair and i totally forgot about this stuff!), i could envision how awesome and spa-like my showers were about to become. with the care and grace of a coronation, i lifted up the dispenser to put it on the holder and...no. NO NO NO NO.

Goddamnit.

The bracket, the super-secure and now virtually unremovable bracket, the goddamn bracket is UPSIDE DOWN.

Fuck patience. I'm trying out evertying immediately from now on. I'm willing to bet that freakin thing would have stayed up just fine, after, of course, i flipped the bracket over. Frankly i blame it on the instructions, which i read carefully before proceeding and checked as i went. NOWHERE did it say "be sure you have it right-side up, as we realize it looks virtually the same either way!"

Goddamnit.

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