A day without Adderall
A day without Adderall 02/11/08

Yesterday I went off my Adderall for a whole day and oh man was I ever reminded why I started on it in the first place.

I got the sudden desire to “get rid of stuff” and proceeded to tear apart several drawers containing hats, bags, and scarves, and also “the junk drawer”. After the contents of those were somewhat scientifically scattered and stacked around the foyer and all of the furniture residing there, I moved on to some sketchbooks and an old scrapbook , tearing out old drawings to either keep or toss, and old ads and photos and stuff from the scrapbook . Some of the magazine ads I am going to try and sell on eBay even for a couple of dollars; there seems to be a market for that kind of thing.

I am actually planning on starting to sell lots of weird stuff on eBay, even stuff like makeup I didn’t end up using but once to try it, etc. I have a lot of time on my hands and even if I only sell stuff for a buck or whatever, or make up little lots like with the makeup, I feel better about that than just throwing it out, and I could use the extra little bit of money or I would probably end up donating a lot of it.

I have however probably a couple hundred books to sell also, so I don’t know whether I will do this on eBay or Half.com. I figure if I do eBay auctions then I can do some lots on stuff that is on related topics, and then also I figure I will get rid of the stuff faster since an auction has a limited time and half.com it’s up there 'til someone buys it. Then again, that might be better because I don’t want to have to keep re-listing this stuff. I don’t know, eBay might be the better idea; maybe I will try a few there first and see how it goes, and then decide what to do with the rest.

But anyway…later on in the day yesterday I completely lost interest in that project, and got really tired and cranky. I also had all of these problems feeling comfortable in my clothes, which was a problem that plagued me almost daily until I got on meds. It’s a pretty esoteric problem but I have heard of other ADDers experiencing this as well, but usually as like, being really aware of a seam or something specific, where with me it was always like, this whole-body sense of rejection where the outfit felt too brief, or too hot, or the ankles were too short, or whatever.

Until the clothes issue sprung up I was enjoying being an ADD terror, but of course I also got depressed and annoyed and overwhelmed over the project before abandoning it and now I have to clean up my mess. :)

I did, however, get some good things accomplished during my mania, despite not finishing entirely. It was so weird to be back there again, though, obsessed with this project of getting rid of things when none of it was really hurting anybody. So ADD typical, to involve myself in this exciting and completely un-necessary expedition instead of doing something so much more obviously constructive, such as cleaning the messy kitchen or going through the pile of mail accumulating on my dining table.

What Do You Have To Say? - Writing: Makes Me A Better Writer
What's been your biggest influence in making you a better writer?

having to do commercial writing i.e. advertising and other things like brochures and websites for former employers. you're always constrained by space, word count, etc, so you're forced to be concise, but impactful. Catchy, but never trite...a style all your own.

Barf. The new fragrance.

(no subject)
you ever notice how when we talk about "social constructs", it's usually in a way that implies that they are something intriniscally bad? what about not talking with your mouth full and looking both ways before you cross the street? or being on time, and saying "bless you" when someone sneezes?

at what point do social constructs become social constraints, or social oppression? how much should the government intervene on behavior?

(no subject)
inch by inch, life's a cinch

yard by yard, pretty hard.

you know those large ad packets you get in the mail?
you can stop those, i am so excited! i hate the fact that these are getting made only for a lot of them to end up in the trash as soon as you open your box :(

in the DC metro area, call 202-334-7730


uh...this is definitely a first...
i misplaced my cordless mouse until just this second when i used my tab key to move around and opened this to post about how i misplaced my mouse, looked down, and there it was!

it was just on the wrong side of the table, in the left-handed person's mouse-area. that was NOT there a minute ago. someone's playing tricks on me!!!

and as many of you may know i work at home when i am not out vending, so, yeah, either *I* did this or it's the work of some mysterious energy!!! (i'm voting for " I did this ").

Maybe stuff that isn't literally tied down isn't such a good idea for someone such as myself. i'd looked all over the house for it. a normal person would have found it right away because they wouldn't have even entertained the notion that they could have, say, left it in the bathroom cabinet, or perhaps just in an extremely well-hidden spot on a side table next to a lamp, not to be found for six months.


internet awesomeness


currenly subscribed to Heart of Darkness.

what was i coming in here to do???
oh, yeah, it didn't involve SITTING IN FRONT OF THE COMPUTER.

wow, if i had actually posted about this when i did it, it would be freaking you out, too
last week i netfliexed "Blow Up" and me and K watched/really enjoyed it. Yesterday we figured we would watch it again with the commentary, done by a writer (coincidentally a professor at GMU) who authored a book on Antonioni and his work.

Really enjoyed that, too, made me appreciate it even more and i'm so pleased with myself for being in the know now about this movie, etc etc...i didn't know anything about this director and only vaguely knew there was a movie called Blow Up or Blow Out (a later homage which i was disappointed to discover when i Tivoe'd it a month ago thinking i was finally going to see that movie i remembered seeing something about in vanity fair like, almost 20 years ago about a 60's photographer and something sinister...)

come to find Antonioni DIED yesterday at the age of 94. it's creepy and the vapidly morbid stuff of watercooler talk... but also kind of profound and not-sad, driving home in such an immediate way how a person's artistic vision persists beyond their lifetime.

I believe he lived and died in Italy, and with the time difference I was quite possibly watching his masterpiece, something he worked on hard and brought to life, and something that is new for everyone who sees it for the first time, at the very moment he himself left this place.

And with that, what started as a superficial "OMFG, can you beleive it???" post is ending on a more meaningful note for me. I have a smile on my face; life after death? I'm glad i met you, Mr. Antonioni :)


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